I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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