i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
