This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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