One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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