i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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