He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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