O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
