david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
