So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize