I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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