It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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