what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
