Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
