what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
