p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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