his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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