I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize