oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
