ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
