i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
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