dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize