hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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