I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
