Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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