Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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