Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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