We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
