Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How naked do you want me to be?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
