nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
