If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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