I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
