Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
