2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
