my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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