I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!