Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.

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  (919): Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south. http://tfl.nu/bzzh
  Replies (10) Good night (3061) Bad night (838)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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  (301): You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate. (240): Why does tequilla always make you text me? http://tfl.nu/qeax
  Replies (13) Good night (4266) Bad night (896)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?

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  (609): How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does? http://tfl.nu/dymy
  Replies (46) Good night (772) Bad night (6107)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!

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  (321): right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!! http://tfl.nu/ghmc
  Replies (32) Good night (6245) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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  (401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set
  Replies (4) Good night (2623) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex

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  (619): Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex http://tfl.nu/ckpn
  Replies (15) Good night (3462) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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  (708): My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase. http://tfl.nu/2212
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (3406)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (840)
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  (949): View more from California

  i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.

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  (949): i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed. http://tfl.nu/mfiw
  Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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  (319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (1137)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.

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  (317): It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion. http://tfl.nu/z4as
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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  (847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.

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  (928): Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating. http://tfl.nu/r7wa
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth

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  (301): I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth http://tfl.nu/jeme
  Replies (7) Good night (736) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.

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  (306): like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad. http://tfl.nu/rz2w
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (227)

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