Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize