I cannot find my penis.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
