Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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(858): View more from California

batman tramp stamp. Dibs.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

(320): View more from Minnesota

You know how I know you're gay?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night

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(718): View more from New York

I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?

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