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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm with your mom on this one.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  And I meant every ounce of it.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.

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