Me. At least after what I've been through.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
