i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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