speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize