Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
