Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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