I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
