Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
