I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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