Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no, he came in my armpit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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