Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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