I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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