You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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