See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I could fuck to npr.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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