I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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