I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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