Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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