Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
