Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
