I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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