We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Vodka?
Forever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
