hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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