Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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