I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
