yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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