How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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