it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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