Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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