WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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