I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care