Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  ; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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  (734); Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up http://tfl.nu/ecut
  Replies (4) Good night (1620) Bad night (602)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

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  (703): Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight http://tfl.nu/sfgp
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (715)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe she gives good head

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head

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  (731): Maybe she gives good head (615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head http://tfl.nu/5nox
  Replies (44) Good night (874) Bad night (3806)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.

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  (828): At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed. http://tfl.nu/va1q
  Replies (16) Good night (1426) Bad night (4466)
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  (714): View more from California

  My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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  (714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se
  Replies (15) Good night (5363) Bad night (1304)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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  (850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml
  Replies (12) Good night (5759) Bad night (1209)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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  (502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b
  Replies (18) Good night (5437) Bad night (1265)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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  (867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e
  Replies (9) Good night (985) Bad night (2134)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

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  (603): be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage http://tfl.nu/vba1
  Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (598)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

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  (401): I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision http://tfl.nu/c6qu
  Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (457)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair

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  (518): Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair http://tfl.nu/llhv
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (900)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (688) Bad night (1146)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole

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  (617): Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole http://tfl.nu/3dil
  Replies (7) Good night (2571) Bad night (405)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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  (412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1
  Replies (12) Good night (1560) Bad night (556)
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  (707): View more from California

  He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.

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  (707): He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/0sea
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (156)

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