I think I won the penis lottery.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me